Tripping Up

I thought this was the best thing for me... I thought having someone would make all my problems go away and that if he loved me back then my life would be complete... and everything would fall into place, he'd ask me out, be my first real date, be my first kiss, be my first relationship, and everything about it seemed so perfect that I couldn't stay away. I jumped in head first with only my heart on my sleeve. I wanted to be happy, that's all... this to me has always been happiness. My main long term goal was to be this person.. this happy in love person that was carefree and had everything in place because she was with the one she was supposed to be with. Thats supposed to be me. All I had been missing was the guy... I convinced myself that the only reason I wasn't this person was because each guy was wrong. Every guy I liked that it didn't worked out with showed me a new flaw.. but each guy after had less and less flaws... and I soon realized I was running out of flaws. So I decided that I would stop looking for flaws and start focusing on perfecting my approach. I did and I found him. I found the perfect guy... hes right for me in pretty much every way I can possibly explain to you. And soon I found myself day dreaming rereading txt messages and falling for him.. hard. I'm at the bottom now.. I've fallen, and there's no escape... and while falling for him.. I've fallen into old habits... my dramatic ways. My girlish tendencies have started to take over.. and now I am crying myself to sleep again when I don't get a txt message or if he says something that I twist in my head to imply something else.. everytime he doesn't ask me out I get more and more self conscious.. but then he always pulls me back out and then I'm on top again, happy to be on the bottom of the well. Then I obsess.. I txt him all the time.. I don't think of anything except him.. and it's frustrating me.. that I'm falling into the exact same pattern that I always fall into... I have to stop this now before he starts to realize he's making me go insane and that I'm in this much deeper than he is. He likes me. I've fallen for him completely. there's a big difference here and it can cause some major problems in our "almost" relationship. Someone or something needs to pull me up this well so that I'm not stuck down there when he decides to move on. There's nothing I can do now.. except wait and hope he falls down the well too.